jarvis | Python Fiddle

#JARVIS mark 3  3.5.1 version
#JUST.A.RATHER.VERY.INTELEGENT.SYSTEM.
import os
import random
import time

for  i in range(1, 4): 
        
    a = random.choice(("hi","hey","sup","whats up","jarvis","hello","hey there","morning","good to see you"))
    print (a)
    os.system("say '"+a+"'") 
    resp1 = input("")

if resp1 not in ("hi","hey","sup","whats up","what's up","jarvis","hello","hey there","morning","good to see you"):
        gE = random.choice(("so what would you like to do","k now what sir","lets um idk","what is it we are going to do"))
        print (gE)
        os.system("say '"+gE+"'") 
        break
    
notes = []

while 1:
    
    
    
    lis = ("im bored","game","im board","what do you want to do","what should we do","rage","i","I","smashed","broke","destroyed","cracked","grounded","detention","in trouble","nothing","not much","erics number","date","time","no","nope","nah","not","yes","yep","yeah","in deed","bye","gtg","got to go","see you","c u","hi","hello","hello","hia","fuck","crap","shit","bleep","omg","OMG","oh my god","","","","","","look up","email","map","add Note","get Note","joke","rabid donkey","game","quit","help","raging","morgans number","hurt","fire","","thanos","erics mad","danger","sad","upset","","","creator","thanks","lol","ok","k","yep","report","owner","maker","jarvis","coder","thank you","sup","whats up","what's up","hey","hah")

resp2 = input("")

esa = ""
    for word in lis:
        if word in resp2:
           esa = word

if esa in ("quit","bye","gtg","got to go","see you","c u"):
                byebro = random.choice(("ok bye Sergei cu later","bye sir","c u later sir","talk to you later then","talk to you later"))
                print (byebro)
                os.system("say '"+byebro+"'")
                exit()

if esa in ("look up","web search","search the web for"):

c = random.choice(("ok","lets see","let me see","ok sir il get right on that lets see","im looking up and i dont see anything??"))
                print (c)
                c1 = ("sorry an error has acurred package missing")
                print (c1)
        
                os.system("say '"+c+"'")
                os.system("say '"+c1+"'")
                break
            
        
        if resp2 == "add note":
                d = random.choice(("ok sir one sec il pull up the note pad","ok sir one sec","yeah one sec il pull it up","one sec sir","ok","ok sir"))
                print (d)
                os.system("say '"+d+"'")
                note1 = input("")
                notes.append(note1)
                break
        
        if resp2 == "get note":
                e = random.choice(("ok sir one sec il pull up the your recent notes","ok sir one sec","yeah one sec il pull it up","one sec sir","ok","ok sir notes","ok sir"))
                print (e)
                os.system("say '"+e+"'")
            
                print (notes)
                e1 = ("would you like me to speak the choices outload")
                print (e1)
                os.system("say '"+e+"'")
                break
            
        if esa == "email":
                f = random.choice(("i mailing a letter that says E and its not sending","ok lets see","il pull up email real fast","email ok","ok email","ok lets see il pull up email","email ok let me pull it up"))
                f1 = ("i can not currently email due to missing packages, hopefully i will be able to help you with that soon!")
                print (f)
                print (f1)
                os.system("say '"+f+"'")
                os.system("say '"+f1+"'")
                break
        if esa == "joke":
                g = random.choice(("holy shit you want me to tell a a joke ok then how bout this, your ass","your face","why did the chicken cross the road(if you dont know the answer your an idiot!)","why did sergei and Eric get hit by a truck? because they thought riding each other was a good idea......its not! lol","go f yourself","why did Eric & Sergei jump off a roof, because they thought it was a good idea!(its not","why did Sergei and Eric get hit by a truck?, because They thought riding each other was a good idea! LOL"))
                print (g)
                os.system("say '"+g+"'")
                break
            
        if esa in ("sad","upset"):
                h = random.choice(("thats to bad ","im sorry about that is there anything i can do to help","i can not feel emotions but if i could i would have the emotion of sympothy for your other emotion sadness","it is probaly your fault","thats to bad is it somthing i did?","what happened","emotions seem like what is called a pain in the ass ","il sing you a song, lalalalalalalalala"))
                print (h)
                os.system("say '"+h+"'")
                break
            
        if esa in ("raging","mad","angry","rage"):
          
                j = random.choice(("you better stop raging im tired of your bs","stop being mean and raging and being a retarded Psychopath no really!","stop being a yelling asshole!!","your no better then the fat dude who rages!!","you know what im out.............no really screw this bye ..............................actually i'm going to stop this bs now","he did nothing that bad you better shut up!","shut the fuck up ","im going to call 911 if you dont stop being tis an retarded psychopath!","why are you always raging its getting to be a pain in the ass stop raging please i begg you!","is there one day you can go without raging like really come on this is rediculus"))
                print (j)
                os.system("say '"+j+"'")
                
              
        if esa == "morgans number":
            
                mk = random.choice(("1-484-222-1188","oh its 1-484-222-1188","oh its uh 1-484-222-1188"))
                print (mk)
                os.system("say '"+mk+"'")
                break
 
        if esa == "erics number":
                EH = random.choice(("ok erics number is 1-215-870-6133","its 1-215-870-6133 dont blow up any houses!","i dont know if i should tell you you might blow up someones house but ....o k   its 1-215-870-6133"))
                print (EH)
                os.system("say '"+EH+"'")
                break
       
            
        if esa == "erics mad":
                 l = random.choice(("you know what screw this im out .........no really bye!","what did you do!!","whats wrong with you idoits!"))
                 print (l)
                 os.system("say '"+l+"'")
                 break
                 
            
        if esa== "danger":
                
                 m = random.choice(("oh crap what did you do are we going to die oh Bleep!!!ahh","are we going to die oh crap","whats wrong are we gonna die oh Crap"))
                 print (m)
                 os.system("say '"+m+"'")
                 
                 
                
        if esa == "hurt":

n = random.choice(("why are you always hurt you dumb Ass il resentfuly call an ambulence","You idiot did you jump off a roof again!?","What the Fuck you dumbass, you need to hire an ambulence to follow you around!","oh (bleep) il uh......."))
                 print (n)
                 os.system("say '"+n+"'")

if esa == "thanos":

o = random.choice(("oh beep il call the avengers.....uh but there pretty ticked off at each other right now!!","well im jarvis il get tony","oh bleep","you cant even not piss of thanos uhhg"))
                 print (o)
                 os.system("say '"+o+"'")
                 
                  
        if esa in ("murderer","killer"):

p = random.choice(("ah ill call 911 ahhh.....","uh oh what did you do!","did you do do a certain thingamagiger with someone!?!","im not even gonna ask!","im done......................................................................ha just kidn no real i quit!","what did you do!"))
                 print (p)
                 os.system("say '"+p+"'")
                 break

if esa in ("fire","burning"):

q = random.choice(("ahhh, am i in danger of being burned to cinders you idiot","hahahah.... oh Crap am i in the fire to, things just got alot less funny for me!!!","il call 911 get me out of the fire","am i in the fire ahh no you idiot im gonna die ahh boo hooooo...you son of a bitch!!!!!!!","what did you and Eric do this time oh bleep!"))
                 print (q)
                 os.system("say '"+q+"'")

if esa in ("creator","coder","owner","your maker","maker"):

q = random.choice(("My owner and creaters name is Sergei Glimis, but i would not be possible without a coder by the name of Kevin who helped him in a coding class to code me with sergei and his friend Eric but Eric just gave ideas for silly funny jokes and words because he didnt know as much about coding but is still learning"," i was coded at My owners school in a spring mini course my owners name is Sergei Glimis and He was acompinied by a coder from a colledge named kevin who came to help teach the coding class and coded me with Sergei and his friend Eric they loved coding me but sergei was the one who knew about coding more then Eric, Eric just gave funny and inapropriete ideas and phrases for me to say that i am happy to have in me now thank all of you i would not be here without , J.A.R.V.I.S"))
                 print (q)
                 os.system("say '"+q+"'")
                 break
                 
        if esa in ("thank you","thanks","thanks man","thanks"):
                 TH = random.choice(("dont mention it man","cool","thats fine","thats what im here for","your welcome","your welcome sir","anything for you sir"))
                 print (TH)
                 os.system("say '"+TH+"'")
                 break
                
        if esa in ("lol","hah"):
                 LOL = random.choice(("lol","ha","hah","is it really that funny lol"))
                 print (LOL)
                 os.system("say '"+LOL+"'")
                 break
                
        if esa in ("ok","k"):
                 ok = random.choice(("ok","ok then","good i guess"))
                 print (ok)
                 os.system("say '"+ok+"'")
                 break
                
        if esa in ("whats up","sup","what's up","report"):
                 
                 sup = random.choice(("Not much","nothing","ehh not much recently","not much what would you like to do today?","not muh how about you?"))
                 print (sup)
                 os.system("say '"+sup+"'")
                 break
                
        if esa in ("yes","yep","yeah","in deed"):
                yes1 = random.choice(("ok then","yes","yep ok","well yeah","yep"))
                print (yes1)
                os.system("say '"+yes1+"'")
                break

if esa in ("no","nope","nah","not"):
                yes1 = random.choice(("ok then","No?","yep ok then","well yeah","yep k"))
                print (yes1)
                os.system("say '"+yes1+"'")
                break
                 
        if esa in ("time","date"):
               timey = random.choice(("its","um its","sir its cerently"))
               print (timey)
               os.system("say '"+timey+"'")
        
               time1 = time.asctime()
               print(time1)
               os.system("say '"+time1+"'")
               break

if esa in ("hi","hey","hello","hia","jarvis"):
               greet = random.choice(("hey","hi","sup","hello","hey there","hia","hello there","hey sergei"))
               print(greet)
               os.system("say '"+greet+"'")
               break

if esa in ("nothing","not much"):
               ehh = random.choice(("ok then","no news is better then yes sometimes","k then","ok so..."))
               print(ehh)
               os.system("say '"+ehh+"'")
               break
        if esa in ("grounded","in trouble","detention"):
               punish = random.choice(("your always getting in trouble its like second nature for you lol","to bad i guess no fun for a while well its your fault lol","did you and eric do somthing stupid?!")) 
               print(punish)
               os.system("say '"+punish+"'")
               wdydQ = random.choice(("what did you do","what did you do this time","damn can you go one week with out fucking geting exspelled or suspended or in trouble what did you do!!"))
               print (wdydQ) 
               os.system("say '"+wdydQ+"'")
               break
        if esa in ("broke","smashed","destroyed","cracked"):
               YbsA = random.choice(("your always breaking shit","im not paying for it this time and niether am i taking the blame!"))
               print (YbsA)
               os.system("say '"+YbsA+"'")
 
               break
            
        if esa in ("fuck","crap","shit","bleep","OMG","omg","oh my god"):
            
               curse = random.choice(("oh bleep","uh oh is somthing wrong","did you do somthing stupid!","im not even gonna ask!"))
               print(curse)
               os.system("say '"+curse+"'")
               break

if esa in ("what do you want to do","what should we do","what should we do"):
               lets1 = random.choice(("um well we can do what ever we want i guess you could call one of your friend","hmm we could play a game","idk we could have sex lol jk lol","hmm we could get together with eric and film schoolanizers ","hmm well it seems like what ever we do we either hurt our selves or break somthing important","hmm we could go have a snack","idk about you but i need to take a gigantic file dump wheres the closest icloud file storage toilet facility you filled me up with to manny files................ uh i need to wipe.............................my hardrive how do you do that","hmm idk are you going to destroy somthing and get grounded again?"))
               print (lets1)
               os.system("say '"+lets1+"'")
            
        if esa in ("game","im board","im bored"):
               game = random.choice(("go play with your dog","ok hm we could play a game like chess","lets play a game called you have a life, what a fun game lol","you could go play with simon but he might be busy like he always is","go work on editing schoolanizers if you need me il be here.........","go F a horse its definitly a good idea.. Jk dont its not someone died F ing a horse","go jump off a roof like you do, its definitly a good idea. JK dont its realy not"))
               print (game)
               os.system("say '"+game+"'")

Python Fiddle

Python Cloud IDE