8-Ball_firsttry | Python Fiddle

import random

answers = {
	1: "It is certain, but only if you stop being a faget.",        
    2: "No. Why the fuck would you even ask that?",        
    3: "I really don't feel like putting up with your bullshit. Try asking later?",
    4: "I know the answer, but I don't feel like telling you. Mostly because you're an asshole.",
    5: "I don't know about YOUR answer, but you're gonna have to answer to Jesus for that one, buddy.",
    6: "No, you sick fuck. Jesus. You're the reason people develop drinking problems.",
    7: "That stars have aligned for you. Seriously. You have skin cancer from sun exposure. Also, I wasn't listening to your question.",
    8: "Uh, Magic 8-Ball isn't here right now. Leave a message at the tone. Or don't. I'm not coming back."
}

response = random.randint(1,8)
# set introduction to magic 8-ball
question = raw_input('Ask the magic 8-Ball a question, lest ye be a total faggot. ')

print('\n\nYou asked: %s\n' % question)

print('Magic 8-ball says: %s' % answers[response])

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